


Promises to Keep

by RL_BlackRose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Lots of Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 01:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RL_BlackRose/pseuds/RL_BlackRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Petra wakes up to find her own dead body, smashed brutally against a tree.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! This one's for everyone (me included) who needs closure after the utter TRAGEDY that were episodes 21 and 22; hope you have fun reading! I hope it isn't too rushed, since I wrote it all at once. I'm also posting it all at the same time- I really want it to really hit you. Sort of like a bus.  
> The little passage at the end of the last chapter, along with the title, is from _Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening_ by Robert Frost.  
>  Don't hesitate to leave a comment/criticism- I live for those! Thanks! ^3^

.

.

Petra's eyes snapped open.

Daylight glimmered against her honey-gold irises. She blinked, squinting just a little against the glare.

It was like coming out of a dream. Thoughts came thick and soupy, and her limbs were like lead. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep. Birds sang all around, chirping sharply, and the rustle of leaves served as a backdrop to their calls.

_I'm so tired…_

She became aware of an uncomfortable, stuck feeling. Her body was bent strangely- in fact, she doubted she could move. Rough tree bark pressed into her chest.

Tired, so tired… why was she even there? Just trying to remember gave her a headache. There'd been a mission, and then-

_The titan! The female titan!_

Panic jolted through her veins, and she gritted her teeth.

_Where did it go? Is it still around? How long have I been here? Ugh… Come on, come on… I've got to get up…!_

Shoving aside endless questions, she grunted- pulled away as hard as she could, willing every muscle in her body to move, and-

Fell back, landing heavily on the forest floor. The impact knocked the breath from her lungs.

She held a hand to her head. There was a strange feeling in the air, an unfamiliar lightness. And then, her eyes focused-

And Petra cried out in horror, scrambling back. _No. No._

_It's..._

Her body.

Petra's mouth fell open.

_It can't be. It can't be- it's got to be a nightmare. Please, let this be a nightmare..._

Jammed carelessly against a tree, streaks of blood running from her nose and mouth. Dull eyes stared listlessly into the endless forest canopy. Broken.

Gone.

 _What's happening?_ She swallowed hard, touching a hand to her own face. Her skin was as clean and warm as always. _Is this real?_ Tentatively she inched forward, reaching for the corpse. _How-_

A sudden zipping noise.

With a jerk of her head, she looked up-

Levi! It was Levi passing over. She breathed a sigh of relief, standing up.

"Corporal!" Petra called excitedly, waving her arms. "Corporal, I'm right here! Hey!" No answer. "I'm right… here…?"

Darkness in his face as he gazed down. A horrible darkness- pain like none she'd ever seen.

Her arms lowered. "Levi?"

Among the branches, he seemed to linger for just a moment- and then he tore his eyes away, spiralled into the distance.

It took her a second to understand.

Mad tremors took hold of her, rocking her like an earthquake, and an unfathomable fear rose high in her throat. Her knees wobbled, and she sank to the ground. Fell forward onto her palms. She wanted to throw up, to feel the familiar tug of nausea in her stomach- but there was no more body to channel her shock. Just a sick, trembling terror.

Petra lowered herself onto the forest ground, curling among the fallen leaves. The shaking wouldn't stop. Green light filtered through the treetops, bathing her in dancing patterns.

The legs of her old body laid twisted, crushed before her. Fallen leaves. Fallen soldier.

There was nothing beautiful about death, Petra realized aimlessly. Nothing tragic, or romantic. It was disgusting and gory, ugly, and…

 _Sad._ The one feeling that pulsed alongside the fear. _Is everyone else dead too? Are they also like me? Or… am I the only one?_

Another wave of panic. She fought it down with curled fists.

 _What happened? Where did I go wrong?_ Petra coiled tighter, feeling the toughness of packed soil against her shoulder. Ginger hair laid scattered under her head, tickling her cheek. _I can still feel! I can't be dead._ Yet- the body in front of her was all too real. Unmoving, a monument to her fall. _What happened? I had so much ahead of me- I had a life-_

"I had a LIFE!" she yelled suddenly. Her voice died uselessly on the cool air.

_If a soldier dies in a forest and no one's alive to notice, does it make a sound?_

"Help!" There was no echo. Just the short, scared calls of her voice. "Anyone! Is anyone here? Come on... Erd! Gunter! Auruo!"

Terror choked her. Desperation in her eyes.

She forced herself to her feet, stumbling forward, past her corpse. Swaying unsteadily on her feet, pleading- "I can't be the only one- I can't! Guys, please!" Before she knew it she was running, arms pumping frantically as her feet pounded against the uneven ground. "Where are you?! Where ARE YOU?!" A stone, and she tripped. Sprawled across the dead leaves. "Guys…!"

Petra bit her lip, felt tears build up. _What do I do? What do I-_

"Petra!"

Her head lifted and she stared, incredulous, as someone burst into the clearing.  
"Auruo?"

It was Auruo. His sandy hair tossed as he ran- and then, he caught sight of her. His thin eyes widened, and he stopped short.

Their stares met. A heavy dread registered in his face. No words were spoken.

"You can see me." His sight swept past her, to the body smashed against the tree. "You're…"

"Dead." Erd followed close behind. "We're all dead."

Auruo's eyes burned with a terrible, bitter grief. "Petra-"

"We still haven't found Gunter." Erd said. "His body. It must be close by, but we don't have our gear."

_What was Auruo saying? What's with that look?_

Auruo seemed to compose himself, stepped forward. "Can you stand?"

Petra nodded quickly. _I guess I'll never know._ She lifted a hand and Auruo took it, pulling her to her feet. A wavering breath shook loose from her lungs.

Her relief was mixed with grief. _At least they're here. At least I'm not alone- but that means…_

Erd walked to her corpse, leaning over it. The empty face darkened in his shadow, taking on a sinister look.

"It all happened so fast." Petra said softly. "One minute I was fighting, and the next…"

Erd nodded. "I know. It was like that for all of us."

"Dammit, Petra." Auruo griped. "You couldn't have gone faster?!"

Petra's eyes narrowed. "Look who's talking- you're dead too, you know!"

"Well, that's just because I attacked. I could have escaped if I'd wanted to."

"You idiot! Then why'd you attack?!"

"A good soldier never runs from battle."

"Good soldier?! That's just about the stupidest thing-"

"We have to find Gunter." Erd interrupted. "Before he wanders far from his body."

Petra and Auruo shot annoyed looks at each other- but they nodded.

Erd turned and they followed, leaves crunching underfoot.

A cool wind wound through the giant trees, flowing gently through their hair. They walked through it, weaving into the breeze.

Petra frowned. "Hey… what about Eren?"

Erd glanced back at her. "Eren?"

"Yeah. Did he…?"

"I don't think he's dead." Erd mused. "Simply because he probably shifted. You know him."

"Ha. That's true." A little ache bloomed in her chest. "He isn't one to give up, is he?"

They kept walking, dark-green capes fluttering in the afternoon's slow breath. Petra looked to the side, spotting a wandering titan. It ignored them.

_They can't see us. I can't believe it._

"Now, I don't know about the rest of the Legion." Erd admitted. "They could be anywhere-"

"Oh! I saw Levi actually. He passed right over me."

Auruo turned slightly, watching her from the corner of his eye. "And?"

"He looked... unharmed." Petra said. She hesitated. "I mean- he didn't have any injuries." Her voice started to wobble, growing louder, more high-pitched. "No physical injuries. I think- I'm sure he'll make it back to the wall! He didn't look happy, I mean... but it seemed like he was- safe! He looked- like he- he-"

Erd's pace slowed. "Petra."

Petra's face crumbled, and she let it fall to her hands. Sharp little breaths and shaking shoulders.

They stopped.

"It all happened so fast!" Petra cried angrily. "You were dead, and then I was dead- and then you!" She turned to Auruo. "You idiot!"

"How's this _my_ fault?!"

"You could've escaped!"

"I had to protect Eren." Auruo muttered. "Nothing I could've done."

Petra took a few deep breaths, slowing her pounding heart.

"Do you... think we helped humanity?"

Neither of them answered.

She nodded slowly. "Mm. Alright. Alright, I think I'm good. Let's keep going."

They trudged on through the foliage, led by the sinking sun. The forest was thick with the smell of grass and dry wood. An earthy scent. Petra breathed it in, feeling a sad calm sink into her.

 _Does this happen to everyone who dies?_ She glanced over her shoulder. _Where do they all go? They can't just stay as ghosts forever…_

_Or can they?_

_This is too confusing. I just want to go home._

She let her steps lag just a little, gazing towards the others' backs. _Are they scared, too?_ she wondered. _Do they understand what this could mean?_

But some things, Petra knew, were best left unsaid- and so they remained.

Her head dropped a little, and she gazed at her shoes. A twinge of curiosity sparked behind her thoughts. The leaves- her boots were moving through them, but they didn't move aside. Only a translucent imprint of them, a shadow. They dissolved as she passed.

 _Will that happen to me to?_ She held her hands up. _I look pretty solid- but that can change. Will I, too-?_

Her thoughts were cut short by a shout.

"Hey! Over here!"  
"Gunter." Petra breathed, almost smiling.. "Gunter! Can you hear us?"

"Over here!"

Auruo looked around, annoyed. "We're gonna need more than 'over here' to find-"

" _Up_ here!"

Their heads tilted up. Gunter dangled above them, suspended upside down by his gear.

Petra squinted, tilting her head a little. It was strange. Gunter's body wasn't the one talking. There was an overlay of Gunter on top- nearly transparent, like a ghost. The ghost figure was the one whose lips were moving. Gunter didn't seem to notice.

"Glad you came back!" Gunter said, giving a small smile. "I thought you'd gone already! And I…" his brow furrowed. "Wait a minute. What are you all doing here? Where's your gear?"

Silence laced with soft birdsong. Pitying looks.

"What are those looks for?" he said cautiously.

"Gunter…" Erd sighed. "I'm not sure how to put this, but- you're dead."

Surprise flashed across Gunter's expression, followed by disbelief. "Haha. I never thought you were the joking type, Erd."

"I'm not."

"He really isn't." Auruo muttered.

"Okay, okay." Gunter rolled his eyes. "Then how are we talking, huh? How come you can see me..."

His voice trailed off.

"Don't tell me that you're all…?" Gunter's face fell. "Oh, crap."

Petra hung her head. "Yeah. That pretty much sums it up."

"Man." Gunter frowned. "All of you…?"

Nods from the rest.

"So this is it? I don't even know who it was. There was that cloaked soldier-"

"The female titan." Erd corrected.

"Are you serious? Was that what you guys…"

"Yeah."

Gunter's dangling arms moved a little. He seemed to become aware of the stuck feeling. His legs shifted uncomfortably.

Erd nodded. "Take your time."

"So I just- pull away?"

"Pretty much."  
Gunter stretched away, pulling hard. Grinding teeth, fierce determination- and then, like a leaf from a tree, his shadow fell away. Color and substance came to him as he fell, and when the three of them caught him, he was heavy.

As they helped him down, he stared up at his corpse. It seemed he couldn't tear his sight from it.

_Poor Gunter…_

"Do we get a funeral or something?" Gunter said glumly.

"You're looking at it." Erd replied. "This _is_ the funeral."

"I'm not writing any eulogies." Auruo grumbled under his breath.

That earned him a dirty look from Petra. "Thank goodness."

"Never mind. Maybe I will say one." Auruo snapped. "We're all gathered here today to mourn Petra Ral, who probably could've survived if she'd gone just a little faster-"

"You asshole!"

"-instead of just STARING at the the titan like a big-"

"Okay, maybe I have a eulogy too!" Petra shouted, boiling with anger. "Here lies Auruo Bossard, who attacked the titan and died because he couldn't take a break from being a pompous idiot twenty-four hours a day-"

"That's not true!"

Petra threw her hands in the air. "-seven days a _week_ -!"

"Some things never change." Gunter muttered. "Hey! You two- there's no time for fighting! We've got to figure this all out!"

"Come on." Erd added. "Aren't we supposed to respect the dead?"

Auruo crossed his arms, avoiding Petra's glare. "Hmph."

"You're acting like children." Gunter sounded frustrated. "We have to go back to the wall. I bet we'll find answers there. People like us, at least."

"You think there might be more ghosts there?" Erd thought it over. "After Trost… maybe you're right. It's the only chance we've got."  
"But the legion already left." Petra reminded them. "We'd have to go on foot!"

Auruo shrugged. "Doesn't look like we have much of a choice."

Gunter took one last look at his body, making a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat. Then, he put his back to it. "Follow me. I know the way out."

They filed after him, making their way past the monstrous trees. Gunter's mangled body hung behind them, swinging gently from the branches. A tarnished pendulum on a broken, rusty clock, counting down on the time they no longer had.


	2. Afternoon

Dusty dirt rose in little clouds, swirling around Petra's ankles. She forced her dragging feet forward, throwing a hopeless glance back at the forest. It was a tiny front of green in the distance. Turning ahead again, she couldn't even see the wall.

 _How long have we been walking?_ She rifled through the hours, realizing she'd lost count. _Too much. This is boring. Pointless._

It was a while since anyone had spoken. Petra's heart grew heavy in her chest. In front of her, silhouetted against the setting sun, Erd and Gunter's backs. She couldn't see Auruo, but his footfalls sounded heavily behind her.

The sky was clear, and the sparse trees around them stretched shadows across the wind-scraped land; but clouds of gloom seemed to hang over their heads. A fog of despondency.

All at once, it was too much for Petra. Her boots skidded to a stop over the dry earth.

"Okay. Just… stop." She sensed Auruo as he caught up to her, and her head dropped. "Everyone- stop."

The others faced her. Now, as she stared, her weary face mirrored those of the rest.

"What are we _doing?"_ Petra wondered. "We're walking back to the wall. It could take days…" _What am I trying to say?_ "I just… why? What's the point anymore?"

Gunter shook his head, furious. "Don't talk like that. We can't give up!"

"Give up on _what?"_

"Petra's right." Erd cut in. "What exactly are we trying to do? There must be a reason we're still here. You've all heard stories about ghosts. We must have unfinished business. Why haven't we truly died?"

"I mean, does anyone really _want_ to die?" Petra muttered. "Apart from Auruo?"

"I didn't _want_ to die, it just happened!" Auruo scowled. "Jeez. Maybe we're all just stuck here for no reason."

"You could be right." Gunter admitted. "Then maybe we're stuck here. Maybe- ugh. We shouldn't think about it. Just… walk. Walk."

He turned away, carefully guarding his stricken look. Petra saw it anyway. She caught the worry, stored in the creases around his lips.

Trudging through the barren, neverending landscape. Every step was a useless thing. Why was she talking them? What was the point? _Levi… if you could see me now._ She almost laughed. _I can't believe- I can't believe that I ever thought… that when we got back…_

Oh, that one hurt. It was a slight twinge in her chest, just like always- but suddenly it was spreading. Static danced before her vision.

_I thought…_

The weight pulled her down. Petra didn't collaspe- rather, crumpled slowly. Like a puppet whose strings were cut, one by one. She sank gently-

A pair of strong hands closed around her middle, holding her steady as her head lolled forward. A rush of air as she was lowered onto the ground.

"What happened?"

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine." Auruo's deep, stony voice by her head. "Just tired."

"We don't get tired anymore."

"Not that kind of tired, dimwit."

Twin tears wound down Petra's cheeks, leaking from her deadened eyes. A dreadful silence in response.

Her hair was suddenly flowing freely, streaming past her cheek as she was lifted by a pair of steady arms.

"I can carry her. Let's keep going."

In the back of her mind, she realized that it was Auruo carrying her. Embarrassment registered slowly.

 _Why can't I just keep going, like the rest of them?_ Her eyelids began to close. _Is it because they had nothing left to lose?_ Lashes fluttered against her cheeks. _Nothing left to lose… no, they must have had something… Erd… and Gunter..._

She became aware of a sweet scent, not unlike cinnamon. It clung to the warmth of Auruo's coat.

 _What did_ he _have to lose?_

A question among many. They swam around her head, circling like birds of prey, picking apart her resolve until she was just a sad jumble of limbs and anxious breaths.

When she floated out of her daze, it was almost morning again. The sun's first rays leaked across the horizon. She moved, shifting her head, and held a forearm over her head.

"Ugh…"

 _Wait a minute._ Her arm dropped, as she realized- _We aren't moving?_

"Huh?" Shock sparked through her fingers, and her eyes opened wide-

"Oh, hey." Auruo looked down at her. "Look who's finally decided to join us."

Not only were they not moving, she realized- they were sitting. She tumbled from Auruo's arms, dropping the short distance to the ground. "What's going on?" They were all sitting. "Why aren't you walking?"

An uncomfortable pause. Erd was the first to break it.

"Gunter, why don't you tell her?"

Gunter glowered. "No."

"Gunter made a friend."

"Shut up!"

Petra raised an eyebrow. "A friend?"

"An enemy, really." Auruo added, smirking. "A terrible foe."

Gunter's eyes narrowed. "I said, shut-"

"A tree." Erd finished. "He got into a fight with a tree.

" _What?_ "

"Gunter took his anger out on a tree." Erd explained. "And apparently we _can_ still get hurt. And it was a very violent fight."

Petra's head tilted. "Why'd you do that, Gunter?"

"No reason."

"Hm."

She glanced towards the direction of the wall.

"When are we walking again?"

"Just when the pain wears off." Erd sighed. "It's going to take a while, anyway. There's no point in rushing."

"Damn. Sorry about all this, guys."

"That's okay. You were just… angry." Petra paused. "Well- why were you angry, anyway?"

"I was just thinking… that the female titan got away. That we failed our mission. I can't believe it. Aren't we supposed to be the most capable?"

"The most capable…" Petra's voice trailed off.

"There's no way we could've predicted that titan's strength." Erd added. "Nothing we could've done. We did our best."

Gunter raised his head. "You still don't look too thrilled, Erd."

"Can't say I am." He gave a slight smile. "But I've got to help you all now. That's my duty. You'd rip each other to shreds if I didn't, anyway."

"I don't doubt it." Petra muttered. She turned to Auruo. "What about you, then?"

"What about me?"

They all gave him pointed looks, and he scoffed.

"Do I have to be part of the feelings circle now, too?"

Their stares persisted, and he rolled his eyes.

"What do you want me to say?"

Erd gave a shrug. "Anything. We'll be here a while."

"Well, don't have anything to say." Auruo crossed his arms. "I'm fine. I have nowhere else to be."

The condemning looks continued, and a flash of annoyance twisted his lips. "Don't look at me like that! I'm not weak." A hand spread patriotically across his chest. "I'm a soldier. I've done my duty, killed many titans. Now I'm just waiting for my next chance."

Petra gave him an unimpressed look. "Uh-huh."

"Of course!"

"Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that."

"I rather think I will!"

"I think my leg's fine now." Gunter interrupted. "Should we get going?"

Erd nodded, and they all stood up, stretching.

Petra's eyes slid towards the side a little-

"Hey!"

Two horses were tied together, bound from their harnesses. Their heads tossed as they struggled to separate.

"Those horses…" Petra looked eagerly to the rest of them. "They're trained to go back to the wall! But…" A sudden anguish. "We can't untie them."

"We can't," Erd said thoughtfully, "But maybe we can influence them."  
"Influence?"

Erd strode to one of them, laying a hand on its back. It stilled. "It can sense us." He put his hand on the other one. "Animals can sense ghosts, remember? Basic folklore."

"Erd, you genius!" Petra laughed, a delighted spark in her voice.

Auruo rolled his eyes again, grumbling. But his sight moved to her, trailing across her smile. Petra noticed his glance. She became still, turning ever-so-slightly. It was his usual dry look- but no, it wasn't at all. That was just a simple layer. Behind it, a restless apprehension… no- what was that? Her head swiveled the slightest bit more-

And all of a sudden, his eyes snapped to hers- closed- immediately moved away, towards the horizon. Petra glanced after his turned face. Admittedly, she was curious. A little confused. A little worried.

_Auruo…?_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two horses rode up to the edge of wall rose.

There were a few soldiers on the wall, keeping watch. They were all equally confused.

"Hey." one said, squinting. "Pass me the binoculars, will you?"

The other soldier complied, passing them to him. He held them up gazing through them.

"Huh." The soldier passed the binoculars back. "Take a look."

"They're- horses?"

"Yeah."

A tentative pause.

"They're tied together."

"Mm."

"There's no one on them. That's strange. How'd they even get here?"

"I think we should tell someone. I mean- horses are horses, right?"

"I guess." The other sighed, turning."Hey, guys? We've got some horses out there. Can we get them in?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Petra slid off her horse, giving it a pat on the mane. The gate rumbled gravely as it closed once more behind them, and she let out a slow breath.

_I'm home._

The horses were led away, and she watched with wistful eyes.

_I'm home, but it'll never be the same._

Gunter's voice sounded behind her. "Okay- we're in town now. We should see more ghosts, right?"

"How can we even tell who's a ghost?" Auruo complained.

"That's easy." Erd advanced along the road. "We call out. If anyone notices us, they're a ghost."

Everyone followed him. Petra cupped her hands around her mouth.

"Hey! Anyone!"

The rest joined in.

"Hello?"

"This is the special operations squad! Can anyone hear us?"

"We need help!"

"Hello?"

Life swirled around them, like a flowing river. Endless groups of people, talking and laughing as they passed. The scent of bread and sunlight lingered in the morning air. Fresh light, gentle shadows.

In the middle of it all, Petra lingered and watched. It was like a physical pain. Echoes of the life she would never be part of again… her hands dropped. The calls of her friends reverberated in her ears.

_What's the point?_

She slowed down, staring longingly at the passerby. So many faces. They were so real.

 _They can't see me._ Her breath caught. _I'm not real anymore, am I?_

"Petra." Gunter noticed her pause. "Did you see something?"

Petra shook her head. "No. I was just thinking."

"Thinking?" Erd stopped, glancing back. "About what?"  
"Look at all these people!" Her voice shook a little, but her tone was strong. "They've got their whole lives ahead of them… they've got so much."

She gazed towards a family. A mother and father, holding their child's hands. They laughed, swinging him by his arms.

"What have we got?" She said softly. "What have I got?"

The squad looked at each other. Answered in unison.

"You've got us!"

"-me."

Petra froze for a second. She turned slowly, hands on her hips.

"Alright, who said that?"

"Well, we all said-"

"No." Petra curiously cocked her head. "'Me'. One of you said 'you've got me'. Who was it?"

A brief silence.

"Wasn't me." Erd said.

Auruo looked to Gunter. "Wasn't me either. Guess that means you, Gunter."

"No, I didn't say it either!"

Petra shot them an accusing look. "One of you is lying." Eventually she sighed, shaking her head. "Guess I'll never know. Should we keep searching, then?"

Their shouts echoed off the cobblestones.


	3. Evening

It started to rain after a while. Just a drizzle at first, but then sheets of it. To their dismay, the squad realized they could still get wet. Their clothes were soaked through before long.

"Ugh." Petra lifted her jacket over her head, frowning. "Can we find some shelter?"

"Yeah, come on." Auruo grumbled. "It's not like any ghosts will stay out in the rain, right?"

"But where?"

"Look. An open door." Erd said, pointing. "Looks like a workshop. Shall we?"

They filed through the frame, moving aside as the workshop's owner breezed past. There was an umbrella tucked under his arm.

Petra moved among the benches, running a hand over the wood. She listened to the others chatter behind her.

"This rain tastes strange." Auruo muttered. "Ech."

Gunter pulled a face. "Do you have to complain about _everything?"_

"Maybe that's not rain." Erd chuckled. "Maybe you're crying."

"I'm not crying!"

"Now you're gonna tell us that you never cry, right?" Petra teased.

"I don't!"

"Liar." Erd said. "Remind me- what were you doing when I found you?"

"Shut up!"

"Don't listen to him, Petra. He was bawling his eyes out."

Petra smirked. "You don't cry, huh?"

Auruo glared indignantly. "Don't exaggerate, Erd."

"He was crying so hard that I had to pull him out of his body. He couldn't do it alone."  
"Erd!"

"Are you still trying to act tough?" Gunter said, annoyed.. "We're dead. Get over yourself."

Petra rolled her eyes, turning away from them. She gazed down at the tools on the workbench.

 _I wonder what Auruo looks like when he cries._ Petra tried to imagine it. Failed. _Why would he be crying, anyway? Eh. Who knows what goes on in that head of his. Must be some pretty messed-up stuff in there._

Her eyes came to rest on a knife. To her delight, she realized she could see her reflection in it. _Wow. I wonder if I could communicate with people like this?_ Took it in her hand, held it up. _Hm._

Suddenly, an idea drifted across her mind.

_Gunter hurt himself. But can you die if you're already dead?_

She angled the knife at her chest. _I wonder…_

Petra drew it back-

Plunged it towards her-

"STOP!"

A heavy hand knocked into her wrist, and the knife flew from her hand. Skidded across the floor, clattering to a stop.

The hand grasped of her wrist. Too tight-

"What the HELL do you think you're doing?!" Auruo shouted furiously.

Petra winced at his grip. "Ow-"

"ANSWER ME!"

"Auruo, what's gotten into you-?"

One glance at his face, and she realized it wasn't anger.

It was terror. Pure, undiluted terror.

A twinge of worry.

"...Auruo?"

His grip loosened, and he looked down. Shame, frustration flickered across his face.

He turned from her, walking out the door and into the pouring rain.

She looked after him in utter shock. A quick glance to Erd and Gunter revealed that they were just as confused. Shrugs from both of them.

Petra clenched her teeth, and then her feet were flying as she jogged after him. Snatched an umbrella from beside the door.

"Auruo!"

Water flooded her eyes, and she opened the umbrella. Though it was only the shadow of the umbrella by the door, the rain still bounced off. She strode through the downpour.

"Auruo!"

She rounded a corner- and there he was. Standing in the rain, gazing into the distance. His hands were in his pockets.

Tentatively she approached him, holding the umbrella aloft. Her fingers twisted uneasily.

"Um… hey." _Ugh, I'm no good at this._

No answer.

"I brought you an umbrella."

As she lifted it over him, the rain fell on her again. It streamed in rivulets down her face.

He didn't say a word. Not even a word, and that scared her. Only turned slightly, pushing the umbrella back over her.

She edged the umbrella back to him. Choked out a question.

"Are you... okay?"

"I'm fine." Auruo griped. "Just needed a break from all you losers." His hand snuck forward again, firmly shoving the umbrella back over her. "Keep your stupid umbrella. You're getting wet."

"So are you!" She pushed it back.

He tilted it over. "You wanna catch a cold, or something?"

"We don't get colds anymore!" Petra knocked his hand away, leaning the umbrella back over him.

Auruo plucked the umbrella from her hand, lifting it high over her head. She jumped up, but couldn't reach it. "Why, you-!"

A sudden gust picked it up, dragging it away. It dissolved on the wind.

"Hell." Auruo muttered.

They stood in silence for a second. He didn't look at her.

Petra cleared her throat.

"So… why'd you do that?"

"That was the storm-"

"No. Why'd you freak out?"

Brief silence.

"I didn't freak out." He mumbled.

"Except you did."

"Alright." His eyes finally met hers. "Maybe it was because you were about to stab yourself?! You can't just go around doing stuff like that. Unless you're an idiot."

"We can't die twice!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course!"

"Then why'd you try?"

Petra looked down, annoyed. "I wanted to see what would happen. Why would I do it if I thought I could die?"

Suddenly Auruo leaned down, and his face was a breath away from hers.

He looked into her stubborn eyes.

"Because you're an idiot."

With that, he straightened up. Turned away. "Come on, we have to go back inside. You'll catch a cold."

"For the millionth time, ghosts can't-!"

"Whatever."

She walked after him. Yet, when they were almost around the corner-

"Wait." She held him back. "I have a question."

He shot her a grumpy look. "What is it _now?"_

"Why'd you attack the female type, when you knew you couldn't kill it?"

The rain pounded into the ground, slippery over the grass. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"I already told you."

"No." Petra pushed her soaked hair back from her face. "You kept saying different reasons. You had to be a good soldier, you had to save Eren, you had to do your duty- why did you really attack it?"

"Can't I have more than one reason?"

He pushed her arm aside. She looked away with a sigh, and then-

"Hey!" She shouted, giving a little leap in surprise. "Auruo! It's a scouting legion cart!"

She ran into the road, stopping in front of the horse. It whinnied, rearing back.

"Tell everyone!" Petra called. "We're going to the base!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The cart rumbled over the ground. Petra sat in the back, legs dangling off the edge. The road blurred beneath her swinging feet.

"Look!" Gunter leaned over the cart's edge. Smiled. "Look!"

"The base." Erd said. He turned to the rest of them, as Petra pulled her knees onto the wooden planks. "We made it!"

Auruo scowled. "What a nasty place. Why are we even here?"

"Don't be such a downer!" Petra criticized. "This was our home. Remember?"

"More like hell, if you ask me."

"Well- no one asked you!"

The cart started losing speed. Erd scanned the landscape. "Okay. I think we should try to find Levi- we should at least know what happened to the expedition."

"Good plan." Gunter said. "Do you know where he is?"

"No." Erd replied, "But I'm sure I can find him."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where could he be?!" Petra peeked into another empty room. "We've looked everywhere!"

"Yeah." Auruo muttered. "And I'm bored."

Gunter's brow creased. "You know, he might be in town. Must be a lot of things to sort out after an expedition, right?"

"I think you're right, Gunter. We should go." Erd said.

Petra stiffened a little.

Auruo noticed. "What? You worried about the corporal?"

"No." Petra said. Her voice was quiet. "It's just that… my parents live in that town."

A dreadful sort of silence settled onto the four of them.

Erd laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Do you want to visit them?"

"No." Petra shook her head. "I don't think I could take it."

"Alright." Erd started down the hallway. "Come on, guys. Town it is."

From time to time, a soldier or two would pass by. Petra kept her sight down, on the floor in front of her. She lagged slightly behind the group. Step, step, step-

"Hey. Petra."

She looked up, finding that Erd was beside her. His pace matched hers.

"Hm?"

"I know you're worried about the corporal."

Petra shrugged. "Sure I am. Aren't you?"

"We're all worried. But… I know you felt something for him."

She gave a dejected nod. "Yeah."

They walked a little further, along the castle's winding hallways. Loud footsteps that no one would ever hear.

"I know it's hard." Erd said, "But you have to let him go."

"Why does that matter?" She glumly replied. "It's fine. It's all fine."

Erd turned to her. "Ever read a ghost story? It's always unfinished business. A ghost can't find peace until it has nothing more to do on earth."

"I didn't know you were into that stuff, Erd."

"Might come in handy. You don't want to be stuck here forever, do you?"

Petra let out a sigh. "Yeah… but I don't think he's my unfinished business."

"Ah."

"I don't really know what it is yet."

"Any ideas?"

"Well… I'm just sad." They rounded a corner, walking out the castle doors. The afternoon was waning, nearing night. "That's it, really. I don't know."

"My theory could be wrong."

"I guess."

A flock of swallows lifted from a bush as they passed. Rushing colors and fluttering wings.

"But I don't think your theory's wrong." Petra decided. "I do feel… like I want something."

"Something like what?"

An image flashed through Petra's mind; the mother and father she'd seen earlier, swinging a child from their arms. The smiles across their lips.

"I'm not sure."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Night dropped fast over the town, coating it in a palpable darkness. With it came the twinkle of stars in the sky, like a dusty rain of silver. Among them rested a nearly perfect moon. Faint, drizzled light over the crickets' requiem.

Slow footsteps down the road. A persistent, clinging weariness.

"I'm starting to think he isn't here, either." Erd admitted.

Auruo raised his eyebrows, voice ringing with sarcasm. "Now, what would give you _that_ idea?"

Gunter rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Auruo. We've still got part of the town to cover." His steps slowed. "Why don't we split up?"

"Hm." Erd frowned. "No, that's not a good idea. We should at least be in pairs." He looked into a narrow street. "How about you and I search this one, Gunter?"  
"Sure." Gunter turned to Auruo and Petra. "Mind staying here? Just in case you see him pass. Or anyone else we know, for that matter."

"Sure."

"Fine."

They leaned against a stony wall. Auruo crossed his arms.

Petra glanced back. It seemed to be a tavern of sorts- she could hear laughter from inside. A golden glow flooded through the window, carving a block of light into the ground. From time to time a shadow would pass over, a shifting shape across the stones.

All of a sudden, a hush blanketed the people's voices. A song began.

A slow, wistful song, played by accordion and violin. The notes drifted through the window, clear and haunting; yet a touch of poignant happiness leaked into it. The bittersweet melody sent a chill down Petra's spine.

Petra and Auruo were about two meters apart; Auruo spoke across them.

"Good music."

Petra held her curiosity in check. "Yeah."

The music swelled, flooding over their ears. It drowned out the crickets' noise. Petra was overwhelmed. _It's so beautiful…_

"Really good music." Auruo repeated.

Petra slid him a look. Now she was interested. "And?"

"Well..." He glanced over to her. A little sheepishly. "I don't know. We're dead. We have nothing to do right now."

 _What?_ "Uh…"

Auruo extended an open hand.

"Wanna dance?"

Petra was shocked. _Huh?_

"With… with you?"

He said nothing, only kept up his beckoning palm.

_Dance?_

She sighed.

_Oh, what the hell. Why not._

She slid her fingers over his, and his hand closed around hers. A step, and he'd closed the distance between them.

A nervous sweat rose to Petra's forehead, and she looked down at her feet. _How do I do this again…?_

"You have no idea how to dance, do you."

Petra nodded.

"Alright."

Suddenly- she was spinning. A cry of surprise slipped from her lips- and then her feet caught up, and they were going around, and around, and around-

The houses and shops blurred around them as they spun, and their steps got faster, in time with the music. Shuffling turned into great, loping strides, a madly turning world as they weaved in and out of the window's light.

Tender rosiness flooded Petra's cheeks, and now the cool wind was biting against her ears. The steadiness of Auruo's hand against the small of her back eased her on, and his other five fingers laced with hers, clasped as he pulled her along-

The instruments came to a sharp crescendo-

And Auruo flung his arm out, spinning her around.

A sweeping, whooshing sound. Like wings. Time slowed.

As she whirled, her carrot-orange hair lifted, floating around her flushed cheeks. A wide grin was spread across her cherry lips.

And suddenly- she turned a fraction more, and her crystal-amber eyes opened wide, catching the nectar glow of the window. A light like butter, pouring around the curves of her face, her pointed nose, over her brilliant smile and the soft contour of her jaw.

In that moment, she got a glimpse of Auruo's face- and he was struck. As if he'd been hit by a train. A spellbound, unusually wide-eyed stare.

_I've never seen him look like that._

Time caught up once more, as the final strains of music sounded.

_I've never seen him look at me like…_

"That," Gunter said, clapping, "Was fantastic."

Petra turned, mortified as she let go of Auruo's hand. "How long have you been standing there?!"

"Eh… not very long." Erd shrugged. "A little bit. That was a nice little dance you were doing. We didn't want to interrupt."

"Tch." Auruo muttered. It took him a second to compose himself. "Did you find anything, or what?"

"Nah." Gunter conceded. "No one. We should probably go back to the base, so we can get there by morning. If we're lucky."

Petra nodded. "That sounds like a good plan!"

"I wish we could find some horses." Erd mused. "That would be-"

The slam of a door against stone.

They all turned towards the source of the sound-

A man stumbled out of the tavern, lit by the open door's light. He was left in darkness as it creaked shut behind him. His shoulders were shaking.

And Petra's face grew pale, paler than snow.

"Dad?"

She stumbled forward, mouth gaping in shock.

"Crap." Erd said softly.

"Petra…!" Her father wept, lurching into the street. "Petra, my only daughter… God, why-" His anguished eyes raised to the heavens. "Why?! How could you take her from me?"

"DAD!" Petra's breaths grew frantic, and she trembled. "Dad, I'm right here!" She ran forward, catching him in a wild embrace. Her chin over his broad shoulder. "Dad, please… I'm right here!"

A shiver went through him, but he still didn't see. He never would.

"Petra, I miss you…!" He cried. The smell of alcohol was overpowering. "Come back to me. I'm begging you!"

Now Petra's sobs were rising to screams. "DAD! I'm right in front of y- y-" Her voice broke, jumping an octave. "Please…!"

Thick tears rolled down his cheeks. Still she clung around his neck- but her grip was broken as he began to walk.

Petra crumpled to the ground.

Yet warm arms suddenly took hold over her, pulling her up to her legs. But she couldn't stand. So for the second time since they'd died, Auruo gathered her in his arms.

Inconsolable sobs wracked her body, and there wasn't a dry eye in the entire squad. Nevertheless, they went on. What choice did they have?

Ivory moonlight lit their way.


	4. Night

It was late morning by the time the base appeared on the horizon. They breathed a sigh of relief.

Petra was feeling slightly better, and walked on her own. Her brow was still heavy with grief, though, and her eyes were dim.

_I'm sorry, Dad._

The sadness weighed her down. She just wanted an end to the pain. Some hope. Hope for what? She wasn't sure.

 _What do I want?_ Staring ahead. _No- what do I need? What do I want so badly, so desperately that I'm stuck here? Would it bring me peace? I can't stand this pain anymore._

"Hey!" Gunter shouted suddenly- "It's Eren!"

That snapped her out of her daze. Her head perked up. "Eren?"

"And Commander Irvin!"

Eren and Irvin were walking side by side, entering the castle. The four of them looked to each other with awe, and then they broke into a run.

They followed the pair into the hallway's dusty corridors, close enough to hear them talk.

"...so we'll act as soon as we can." Irvin was saying. "I'm thinking- two or three days. Can you tell Levi for me?"

"Of course." Eren gave a salute. "Thank you, commander!"

"No problem." Irvin walked away- stopped. "Oh- one more thing."  
"Yes, sir?"

"Do you know where Levi is?"

"Uh… I'm not sure."

"He's in his room."

Eren glanced up at the sky. "This late? Wouldn't he be training?"

"No." Irvin looked away, shaking his head. "No."

Eren asked no more questions, and the squad followed him as he climbed the winding stairs.

They pooled around him as he arrived at the door. Eren's eyes darted to the plaque on the side. 'Corporal', it read.

He gulped as he reached forward, knocked on the wood.

No reply.

"Why would the corporal be in his room this late?" Gunter wondered.

They watched as Eren shifted uncomfortably. He glanced down the corridor, then knocked again. "Corporal." He said. "Levi. Hello?"

"Maybe he's hurt!" Petra said. "He didn't look hurt when I saw him- but-"

"Don't worry." Erd interrupted. "He's fine."

"And how do _you_ know?"

"The corporal… can be a very predictable man sometimes."

"What do you mean?"

"Alright, corporal- I'm- I'm coming in!" Eren stammered. Petra could tell that it was the absolute last thing he wanted to do- yet he turned the knob, pushing the door open.

"What do you mean, Erd?" She asked again.

"Day or two after a failed mission." Erd replied. "Lost his whole squad. What do you think he's doing?"

"Levi…" They heard Eren say- "Are you… drinking?"

Petra pushed past Eren, peeking in- the rest of them gathered behind her-

Levi was sitting at his desk, head down. A bottle rested crookedly in his hand. Petra noticed that the window's curtains were drawn, and that the room was lit only by dim candlelight.

"Uh… uh…" Eren cleared his throat. "Er-"

Levi's voice was muffled by his arms. "If you came to say something," he said coldly, "Then you might as well."

"Oh! Yeah." Eren looked around the darkened room. "Irvin wanted me to tell you that the mission will start in two or three days."

"That's it?"

"That's it." Eren hesitated. "What did you think- I was going to say... sir?"

Levi lifted his head, raising the bottle to his lips. He took a long drink, then set it down. Spoke.

"Nothing."

It was clear that Eren was uncomfortable. He didn't leave, though. Instead, he closed the door behind him.

"What do you want, brat?"

"Well," Eren began. "I was just curious… why did you cover the mirror?"

There was a heavy bed sheet over the lone mirror in the room, draped carefully on top of it. The folds nearly reached the ground.

"Old mourning tradition."

"You've never been one for tradition."

"Don't want to see myself in them." Levi took the now-empty bottle and laid it on its side, giving it a slow spin. "Ugh. Stupid."

"Levi… are you okay?"

Levi shot him a tired look. "Do I look okay?"

"No. Not really."

"I feel like shit." Levi leaned back, running a hand through his hair. He seemed to notice Eren's unease, and he rolled his eyes.

"I'm not actually drinking. This is juice."

Erd's eyebrows raised, and he looked to the rest of the group. They returned his questioning look.

"I just wanted everyone to leave me alone."

"Oh." Eren started backing away. "Sorry for disturbing you, s-"

"No, not you. You're staying."

Eren paused.

"May I ask- why?"

Levi's voice dropped, and they had to strain to hear-

"Because you're the only one left, dammit."

"The only one…?"

"I should have been with them." A hand to his forehead. "Could've done something. I made my choice, and I regret it, and that's just how it is." A frustrated sigh. "Doesn't make me feel any less shitty, though."

"I know." Eren looked down. "I also could've done something. I was right there…"

"You watched them die, didn't you?"

A painful silence.

"I did."

Levi leaned his head to the side. "How did they-" He stopped. "Fuck. Never mind, I don't want to know."

"I- I didn't either, sir."

Levi turned to him. "So we've both lived to regret the choices we made." His eyes hardened. "Welcome to the scouting legion."

Petra felt a tightness in her chest. _Levi…_

An awkward pause.

Then-

Levi exploded.

"HELL!" He stood up, kicking his chair aside. Grabbed his head. "I could've fucking done something-"

"You wouldn't died too!" Eren said, startled by the sudden movement. "You and Mikasa barely saved me-"

"That doesn't change anything, stupid brat!" Levi's voice was growing hysterical. "GodDAMMIT! I'm such a piece of shit-" He grabbed the bottle, smashed it against the desk. Sharp, sparkling shards of glass. "All the skill in the world, and I could even fucking save-"

"Levi!"

Eren grabbed him, locking him in his arms.

Levi sagged, and Eren sank to the floor with him.

Instantly, the squad rushed forward. Instinct. They all gathered around Levi and Eren, wrapping their arms around them. _Can they feel us?_ Petra pondered.

Whatever the reason, Levi seemed to calm down; His eyes softened, melting from fury into grief.

"You're the only one left." He repeated.

Eren squeezed him a little tighter. When he spoke, his voice was thick with tears.

"I miss them too." He wiped his eyes on his shoulder. "I really miss them. It hurts. They did their duty, and now we're closer to a breakthrough than ever before… but it still hurts."

Levi looked up. "I think I need a drink."

"You're going to kill your liver."

That earned him a chuckle from the corporal. "Hmph."

Petra, Erd, Auruo, Gunter- they all closed their eyes. Arms around the two that remained. A warmth, a strong sureness.

A lump in Petra's throat, as she realized that they would never all truly be together again.

"Hey- Levi?"

"Mm?"

"Do you think-" Eren ducked his head a little, embarassed. "Do you think they're watching?"

Levi gave that one some thought.

"Don't be ridiculous, Eren." He said finally. A sly smile.

"Of course they are."

After a little while, Eren helped him up; the embrace was broken, and the squad members stood.

"Come on." Eren said. "Let's go outside. You shouldn't be stuck in here."

"Arrogant brat. Since when do you tell me what to do?"

"Since right now."

Despite his complaint, Levi left after him. The squad was left in the room. They stared wistfully after the pair.

Erd turned to them.

"What now?"

Petra shrugged. "I don't know. I guess we could-" Suddenly, she noticed something.

"...Gunter?"

Gunter was standing near them, but his eyes were miles away.

"Gunter, what's wrong?"

"We helped. That's what Eren said." Gunter said slowly. "They're close to a breakthrough because of us. The mission didn't fail."

"Yeah, I guess." Auruo muttered. "So?"

"Our mission didn't fail."

"What are getting at?!"

A blissful smile spread across Gunter's face. His brow relaxed.

Petra blinked. "Gunter?"

"Thanks, guys." He whispered. "I'm so happy."

He dissolved into the still air.

"GUNTER!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They sat, one of many in the empty dining hall. All three of them.

Erd had a hand against his face. Petra's head was against the table. Auruo simply crossed his arms, with closed eyes and a furrowed brow.

Erd broke the silence.

"He's gone."

"We found him." Petra said. "We found him, only to lose him again."

"Cruel world." Auruo muttered. He opened his eyes. "Crap. I can't believe…"

Erd looked up, at the two of them. Concern deepened the lines in his face. He spoke.

"And he looked so happy."

They heard a cart outside, rumbling over stony ground. The whinnying of horses.

Petra let out a wobbling sigh. "He looked... like he'd never been happier in his entire life."

She swallowed hard.

"Where… where do you think he is now?"

No one dared answer.

"Well, you know what they say." Auruo said finally. "A better place."

"How can I believe he's in a better place if- I can't see him?" Petra ran a hand through her hair, the dullness of sorrow in her eyes.

Erd's head lifted a little. "The only way to find out would be to follow him."

"Follow him?"

"Yeah." He leaned back. "I don't think we're supposed to be here, guys. Why aren't we seeing any other ghosts? Maybe they've all found peace. Like Gunter did." He paused. "Maybe that's our mission now."

"How can you SAY that?!" Petra yelled, standing up. She slammed a fist on the table. "Dying again?!"

"Not dying. Simply- moving on." Torment shook Erd's voice. "I don't like it either, believe me- but we have nothing else to do on earth. Do you want to stay here, Petra? For all eternity?"

"NO!" Petra kicked her chair aside, and it toppled over with a crash. The shadow of it, of course. Not the real thing- and that just made her angrier. "I don't want to! I don't want to- I just want to be alive again!"

Auruo stood up, reaching for her. "Petra-"

"I mean- I want to be happy!" She said. "I want to have the happiness that Gunter had. I want to find out why I'm stuck here, and I want to solve it."  
She sank into her chair, putting her head on the table.

"But I don't want to die, guys." Her breathing slowed once more. "I don't want to lose you all again."

A cloud passed over the sun, and the hall darkened. A dull, colorless monotone, draping over the wooden benches. Like a mourner's veil.

"This is a mess." Erd admitted. "But it's a mess I want to make sense of. We have no choice but to go on; don't worry, Petra." A slight, sad smile. "If we have to leave, we'll leave. That's just the natural order. Meanwhile, we'll stay. Gunter was a good man." He seemed to get choked up, and he hesitated. "They say death is just the next great adventure. We'll just have to see."

"Some adventure." Auruo muttered.

All of a sudden, the door opened. A group of people filed in. Levi, Hanji, Eren, Irvin. A few more.

Auruo stood up, pushing his chair in. "I think I'll go look for any ghosts around here. If we can't find each other, meet me back here. Okay?"  
"Sounds good." Erd and Petra stood, following him to the door-

But Petra stopped. Took Erd's arm.

"Hey… would you mind if I stayed for a second?" She glanced at Levi, taking a seat at the head of a table. "I just want to sort out some things."

"Sure." Erd replied, giving a reassuring pat on her shoulder. "I'll wait outside the door."

Petra turned away from the door as it closed, taking a deep breath. Then, she strode forward. To Levi.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For a while, she waited.

 _They're talking about the next mission._ She noticed. _If I talked… would he hear me? Somehow?_

Hanji was staring intensely into her spoon, tilting it back in forth. Petra laughed at that. _Maybe they're bored. That could help._

"Hey, Levi." She said. Her voice sounded hollow in the vastness of the hall.

Levi didn't answer, only stared ahead. Listening to Irvin.

_I can pretend he's listening._

"How're you doing?" A pause. "That's alright. You don't have to answer. I'm doing fine, by the way. Erd and Auruo are with me. We're still here."

Petra icrouching on her toes. She folded her arms on the table, laying her head across them.

"I'm sorry, Levi. I've caused you a lot of pain. Then again, I didn't think I would die. I thought… we'd be together."

 _Ohh, that hurts._ She fought down the pain.

"I wanted to promise my life to you. Can you believe it? Wow."

Her heart felt like it was falling apart.

"But… it was just a dream. A beautiful dream. You'll never see me again. We won't ever kiss, and this body… this body will never bear children." Hesitation. "I hope you don't think I'm being stupid. I really did love you."

She stood.

"But… I can't love you anymore, Levi. How could I ever find peace if I did?" A thoughtful look to the window. "I don't know how much longer I'll be stuck here, but I know what I want. I want the impossible. A family. Love. Kids. I want to wake up and make you breakfast every morning." Her eyes glistened. "And if I can't let go of that- I'll never leave."

And then she leaned forward, grasping Levi in a warm embrace. She could've sworn she felt him stiffen under her arms.

"I'm sorry, Levi." She kissed his temple. "I'm so sorry. I love you."

Petra was suddenly flooded with an immense sense of loss, piercing her core. She stepped unsteadily out the door, leaving Levi and the rest behind.

Suddenly, everyone stopped talking.

They stared at Levi.

"What?" he snapped, irritated. "What is it?"  
Eren lifted a heistant hand. "Corporal- your face…"

Levi lifted his hand to his jaw.

Tears crawled down his cheeks, catching on his fingers.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Petra saw none of it. She was already outside the door, where Erd stood waiting.

"Should we go find Auruo?" She said. "I bet he needs some help."

Erd didn't answer.

"Erd?"

A shock ran through her body.

The look on his face…

Familiar. Too familiar.

"Erd?!"

"You've made your peace, haven't you?"

"Wh-what are you talking about? Erd, snap out of it!"

"I'm glad… you're letting go. That's how it's supposed to be."

_Oh no. Ohnononono-_

"Erd, please-!"

"I just wanted to help you all." Erd looked up. "The squad. I wanted… to help you be happy. That's all I've ever wanted." A peaceful grin. "I think you're close to being able to leave. Auruo, too. I think I've helped you."

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry, Petra." Tears were falling from his eyes now, though he was beaming. "I'm sorry I have to leave you- but I think you can find your own way now."

"N-no-"

"Goodbye, Petra."

Erd crumbled like dust, dissipating into nothing.

Petra couldn't breathe. And then, once she could-

"ERD!"

Gasping, heaving breaths. She stumbled forward, out the door.

_Oh God. Oh God. Please, no…_

For the first time since the forest, she felt alone. Truly alone. A horrible panic blocked her throat, turning her screams into strangled calls-

"NO!"

Her knees were giving out- but she burst outside, wildly looking around. For Erd. He wasn't there, and he never would be again.

_Why?_

"ERD!" She wailed. "Don't leave me- alone-"

_Alone…_

_Did Auruo leave, too?_

The only one left. Had he, too…

"AURUO!"

Her throat was already raw. Petra forced herself forward. Her mind spun like a top, and she was dizzy, so dizzy-

The world blurred as her eyes filled with tears, as her cries ripped through her throat-

"AURUO, PLEASE! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

_He's left you alone now, too. Everyone's left you. You're alone. You're alone. You're alone. You'll be alone forever here._

A frantic moan. The tremble of her hands.

"Au-ru-o…!"

Her teeth clenched furiously. Had to keep going. Had to find him.

Forcing herself to her feet was like lifting a mountain. Petra's knees knocked together.

A rush of adrenaline- and then she was running. Practically flying over the unkempt grass.

"HELP!"

No answer.

_I can't do this. I can't. I can't- I can't do this anymore. They're all gone. Everyone's gone-_

"AURUO-!"

She slammed into a cart, falling back. Pain exploded across her body. She teetered back, and it burned. It burned like fire.

The wild scream of one with nothing to lose, and she charged forward again-

Right into something.

Someone.

"Petra?"

Petra's eyes opened wide. Auruo looked down at her, confused.

"What are you doing?"

Petra broke down. She clutched his coat and slumped to the ground, sobbing.

"Petra!"

"Auruo…" She choked. "He's gone."

Auruo kneeled, taking her face in his hands. "Erd? Erd's gone?"

Another heartwrenching sob, and a shudder through her body. She crumpled, doubling over.

Grief shone in Auruo's eyes. He started to stand-

"No! Don't leave me, not you too-!"

"I'm not going to leave you. Petra, calm down-"

"I CAN'T!" Her hands dug into the grass. "How can I calm down? What have we got left?"

"Petra-"

"What have I got LEFT?!"

"You've got _me!"_

Silence.

Petra's head inched up. Incredulous.

"...what?"

Auruo gazed into the horizon, a somber look across his face.

"I said," He repeated softly- "You've got me."

"You…" The taste of salt on her lips. "You were the one who…?"

"Come on." Auruo took her wrist, pulling her to her feet. He tugged her gently on, leading her back into the base. "I have to show you something."


	5. Midnight

He led her to his room, gently closing the door after. The door's shadow, at least. It gave them the illusion of privacy.

Petra took a seat on his bed. She looked towards him. As she watched he sat on the edge of the bed, next to her.

They didn't speak for a moment. Then, Auruo looked up. Conflicting feelings darted across his face.

"Petra."

"...yes?"

She searched his face with questioning eyes. He gave nothing away.

"Do you want to know- why I attacked the female titan?"

Her breath caught in her throat.

 _Why is he telling me this? Why now?_ A thousand possibilities flew through her mind. Yet now, she could only listen.

"Why?"

"You were right all along." He answered reluctantly. "It's because I'm an idiot."

Seeing her confused look, he went on.

"I- I saw that titan come out of nowhere." His fists clenched. "And I thought we could take it down. At first. But-"

He stopped. Was he- getting choked up? A bitter, grieving look came into his eyes.

"Auruo…" Petra stammered. "It's okay, if you don't want to say it. Really, it's-"

The volume of his voice swelled, and the agony in it was sharp as a knife. "But then, we couldn't defeat it. It was too strong! It was too damn strong, and then- it jumped-"

A shudder tore through him, and his face dropped to his hands. His breathing sped up, becoming frantic. Panicked words poured from his mouth. Louder and louder-

"-and it crushed you under its foot. Like you were nothing. And there was so much blood, Petra, so much- it sprayed everywhere, and I knew you were dead. I knew your eyes wouldn't ever open again, and that I- I-"

"Auruo, please-"

"I never even got to say goodbye-!"

"Auruo!"

"And I was _furious."_

His voice trembled on the last word. He closed his eyes.

"I flew into a rage. I attacked the damn thing, and it killed me."

_He died…_

_Because of me?_

Petra couldn't believe what she was hearing. But-

"I don't understand." She said softly. "Why… why are you telling me this?"

"I thought I'd lost you. I thought you were gone forever-"

"I'm here now! I'm here-"

"That's not enough!" He grabbed her shoulders, opening his eyes. Tears streamed down his cheeks, rain from the storm boiling in his heartbroken eyes-

"You don't understand. I- I loved you. Petra- I wanted to raise a _family_ with you!"

Petra's eyes flew wide-open. She froze in shock.

"...Auruo?"

Auruo let go of her. Reached into his pocket, and pulled out a little white box.

A deafening silence fell on Petra, and her head swam.

_Is this really happening?_

Auruo lifted the box to her, opening it. A gold ring rested on a small cushion, glinting elegantly.

It was solid. It was solid, Petra realized, because he'd been carrying it when he died.

"I was planning on proposing to you." Auruo said. His voice was small. "When we got back from the mission."

Thunder roared in Petra's ears.

And then-

A fire burst in her eyes, and she gritted your teeth.

"Why are you TELLING me this?!" She shouted. "I'd made my peace! I'd let go of all that! I knew that I couldn't love anymore, because if I do, then I'll be stuck-"

"Then why aren't you gone yet? If you made your peace, why are you still _here?"_

"I didn't want Levi anymore! I was fine-!"

"Then _why are you still stuck here?"_

Like a waterfall, all the emotions overflowed. Crashed against the limits of her restraint, knocking her over the brink all at once- and electricity roared in her veins-

"Because I _LOVE_ YOU, you IDIOT!"

Petra threw herself forward-

Crushed her lips to Auruo's.

His muscles locked in surprise- but then he thawed under her touch, kissing her in return. His hands slipped to the small of her back. As she weaved her hands into his sandy hair, she couldn't help but notice the sweet cinnamon smell of his coat; the same one she'd breathed when he'd carried her across the desert in his arms. The same Auruo that had always tried to act like Levi- for the sole purpose, she now realized, of appealing to her. This was the same Auruo who watched her die, and followed. This was the Auruo that she loved.

The kiss broke, and Petra leaned back. Their cheeks were flushed, and they were both crying now.

Auruo brushed the tears from her face, smiling like she'd never seen him smile.

"Hey. Petra."

"Hm?"

"So are you gonna marry me, or what?"

Petra laughed.

"You're very rude."

"And _you_ haven't answered my question."

Petra extended her hand.

Auruo took hold of it, steadying it, and with his other hand slipped the ring onto her finger.

She looked down at it, then back up at him. Splayed, dark lashes framed the carmel luster of her eyes.

Auruo took her delicate face in his broad hands, kissing her once more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And in the dead of night, Petra suddenly understood.

"Auruo?"

"Hm?"

"We're not stuck here."

She saw him turn.

"What do you mean?"

"We're both still on earth because we can't leave each other."

"And?"

"But we can still leave, if we go at the same time."

She heard him swallow hard.

"Why are you saying this?"

"I think... we have to go."

"Don't say that."

Petra lightly touched the cool surface of her ring. It soothed her, and she let out a slow breath.

"We can't stay here. It's not good. It's not natural."

She heard tears in his voice. "Don't say that. You're being stupid. Please."

"I'm sorry, Auruo. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to, but…!"

Suddenly, his arms were around her. She burrowed against his chest.

"Let's go outside." He said.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They walked into the cold night together. Wind rustled through the trees, and distant owls called into the dark.

The swish of their steps on the moonlit grass.

Petra stopped suddenly. Auruo turned to her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

He hung his head a little. "So this is? I'm going to lose you again?"

The pain in his voice made her stomach twist. "No." Petra answered. "We're going to see each other again."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I promise."

She took his hands, closed her eyes-

"WAIT!"

He dove forward and squeezed her to him, burying his nose in her soft, pumpkin-orange hair.

"I'm not ready." Auruo breathed.

They stood still. Petra felt his shaky breath against her skin.

"Me neither." Petra said softly. A sob was building up in her chest. She choked it down. "I love you. And I'm scared."

A soft breeze.

Auruo chuckled. "Guess I can say you're petra-fied."

"That," Petra giggled, "Was terrible."

She felt him kiss her forehead, lips soft against her skin.

A sudden sense of bliss flooded her body. She could no longer feel her legs. A gasp.

She held onto Auruo.

_It's going to be okay._

His hands clutched at her back.

_It's going to be okay._

Her body was light now, and she felt like she was drifiting. Floating away.

"See you soon." She whispered. "Auruo."

No answer.

A pang of despair twisted through her, and tears flooded her eyes.

"Auruo?"

He was gone.

An arrow through her heart. He was gone. All that remained was the ring on her finger and the promise she'd made.

Petra closed her eyes.

Looked up to the stars-

"-STOP!"

Someone else.

Someone else?

She turned, blinking the moisture from her sight. A teenager. Black hair and freckles. He was running, sprinting like mad.

"STOP!"

The curiosity barely registered in her mind- but then the world faded away in a rush of white.

Petra Ral faded into the moonlight, carried away by a warm cinnamon-scented breeze. Nothing remained.

Marco fell to his knees.

"Why can't I ever warn them in time?" He mourned, putting his head in his hands. "Why?"

He looked up to the place where the two of them had been.

"None of them ever think to go to the basement." He whispered. "I can't ever get them in time. None of them know… that if they die..."

His voice trailed off. Marco lingered among the cricket's song, frozen for a few minutes. Eventually, the first rays of dawn leaked over the ground, bringing light to the heavy hopelessness in his eyes. He stood.

Turned around. Walked away.


	6. Dawn

The titan in the forest didn't move much.

It only stayed still, leaned carelessly against a tree. From time to time, another titan would pass, and his eyes would flicker to it- but it never moved. Not since it had entered the forest.

The dead stillness of the trees didn't get to it; the titan had no thoughts. Just instinct. Just another beast.

That is, until the morning when the rain began.

The rain itself was no issue to the behemoth. Water was water, after all. It posed no threat. But- on that clouded day, the rumble of another titan's footsteps vibrated through the ground. Slow, lurching steps.

This titan lumbered through the trees, a common blank stare on its face. Its hair was strange, though; an oddly vibrant ginger shade.

The titan in the forest didn't move much. But when its eyes flickered to the new titan, they stayed. And his monstrous body lifted onto stiff legs, stumbling forward.

The other titan was too slow to evade it. They crashed together with a mighty sound-

Toppled over, necks pressed together. Smacked straight into the forest floor.

A tremendous hissing noise, and steam poured into the sky. The titan's bodies dissolved into ashes.

Birds lifted from the trees, in an uproar of trills,

and-

Petra's eyes snapped open.

Daylight glimmered against her honey-gold irises. She blinked, squinting just a little against the glare.

From the blur of green, she realized she was in the forest. The one she'd died in. Only- it was filled with hot steam. She was sweating. Or- no. Those were raindrops on her skin.

Her eyes focused-

She gasped.

All around, smoking remnants of titan bodies littered the ground. And-

Hanging above her, supported by his arms-

It was him. It was _him._

Her voice was hoarse.

"Auruo?"

They stared at each other. Wide-open mouths and saucer eyes. In awe of the terrible secret they'd discovered.

And she could tell she was alive. Alive, alive.

_How?_

But suddenly- her thoughts were interrupted. The rumble of another titan's steps echoed in the distance.

Alarm sparked in Auruo's eyes. He gritted his teeth, scrambling to his feet as he pulled her up.

"Come on-" He took her by the wrist, breaking into a run- she stumbled along behind him- "Come ON!"

They ran through the pouring rain.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

.

_The woods are lovely, dark and deep._

_But I have promises to keep,_

_And miles to go before I sleep,_

_And miles to go before I sleep._


End file.
